Trauma Bonding Romantic Relationships

Nakeah Sims

3 December 2021

ENGL2016-44378

Professor Harris

 

Trauma Bonding Romantic Relationships

            The element of romance is an element of black gothic. Darkness, discomfort, ghosts, and solitude are all themes in the black gothic, which combine to generate fear and terror. Romance is the excitement or mystery associated with love. Over fifty percent of novels contain some aspect of romance in it such as Beloved by Toni Morrison or even a well-known modern novel such as The Fault in our Stars by John Green. Romantic relationships are evolving as the generations prolong because most Americans are not bonded by trauma like Americans were in the earlier days during slavery or segregation.

            Trauma can bond romantic relationships and make them stronger. In the earlier days during slavery, enslaved people were abused physically, sexually, and emotionally by their slave masters and/or by their own people. Although, slave masters may have believed that doing all these cruel acts would tear down the enslaved people, but in reality, everything the enslaved people were put through only strengthened them. Slaves began to get in “marriages” with other slaves that encountered the same cruel trauma as them, and their union only made them stronger. Slave masters did not like the idea of enslaved people becoming one through marriage, so the slave masters made sure they were not allowed to be married constituently. Enslaved people began their own tradition of “jumping the broom” which was their way of saying that they were married. Although, enslaved people were not constituently married, majority of them, if not all stayed together until death. I believe that relationships in today’s generation are evolving negatively because we do not share the same traumas, and because we are taking marriage for granted because we can freely get married unlike the enslaved people in the 1800’s during slavery.

            The Fault in our Stars written by John Green displays a romantic relationship between a couple that shared the same trauma. The trauma they shared was a terminal disease named cancer. Since, they shared the trauma of not knowing when they were going to lose the battle to caner, they cherished every moment of their relationship.

            Trauma can bond relationships. Someone that has been through something traumatic could relate to someone else that has been through a similar situation. Most times trauma causes depression and sadness which is from the release of serotonin and a result of level changes of neurotransmitter in the brain. Having someone that you can connect with or relate to on a sensitive level can cause the release of dopamine. Dopamine is a “feel good” hormone that is an important part of one’s brain reward system and is the cause of happiness. Having someone that is understanding and constantly bringing reassurance to the fact that you don’t stand alone in what you are going through gives you a good feeling, and makes you more attracted or attached to your partner.

            In conclusion, enslaved people, patients suffering from a terminal disease, or even someone in an abusive relationship are known, proving examples of how trauma can bond a romantic relationship.


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